Nameless, Faceless
by ReachForTheSky
Summary: AU. She is a shadow, barely a whisper in the dark night. Her identity is nothing but an empty reflection, but all that is about to change. As she becomes tangled further and further in webs of darkness, she realizes that she isn't fighting for just herself anymore. She's battling against a society out to get her, the one who haunts her memories, and even the evil within herself.
1. Prologue

**Hi, and welcome to Nameless, Faceless. I know this chapter is really short, but it's a prologue, so what can I say? **

**Enjoy! And please review, because my writing is far from perfect!**

* * *

I don't know who I am anymore.

At one point, I was...I was a somebody. And by that I don't mean I had been special, oh no. If anything, now I was special.

But I would choose ordinary, like I had used to be, any day.

I once had a name. They called me Amu, Amu Hinamori, the friends and family that I once had. That name had long since faded into the darkness, like everything else about me.

I once had a face. I guess I still do, but no one can see it, not even me. It's been so long that even I've forgotten what I look like.

I spend my days skulking in street alleys, though no one can see me. I steal food, which I surprisingly still need, watching it shimmer into invisibility as soon as it touches my hand.

Nights I spend under the stars if it's summer, gazing up at the sky and wishing I was as free as the owls swooping over my head. Come winter I make myself a home in a stranger's home, sleeping in an unused room.

After about a week they begin suspecting ghosts, and I must take flight once more.

Days, weeks, months, they all just blend together into one mesh of gray, one endless nightmare. It's been three winters, three endless years, since I was banished, punished to spend eternity in the mortal world. I'm only just getting used to it, only just falling in sync with the steps of this humanity.

I step through the snow, footsteps blending in with the countless others who walk this path. I begin searching for a house, with preferably as few people as possible. But eventually, my legs give in to the biting cold, and, shivering, I stumble into the nearest house.

I stagger up the stairs, listening for where the residents of this house are. I hear a girl's voice, whining, and an older boy's, groaning in frustration. I assume they are siblings who share a room, which simply leaves more room for me.

Still, though, it must be nice. To have someone who cares, a constant companion.

With a sigh, I creep into the darkest, dustiest room. Sleep claims me instantly.

Sleep, peaceful sleep, unknowing of the future.

I do not hear the footsteps.


	2. Alone Like Me

**Thanks for the review, Guest! Even little things like that make my day. This is a kind of set-the-plot-out chapter, so bear with me.**

* * *

_CRASH!_

I nearly screamed as the sudden crash woke me abruptly. I poked my head above the covers to see what exactly had fallen, and I withdrew myself just as quickly.

There had been a boy, an older teenager, balancing several boxes in his hands and staring at one on the floor, its contents spilled out.

There was a person.

In this room.

And he seemed to have no intention of leaving.

I began to panic, breathing hard and fast while hoping that he wouldn't notice the human-shaped lump under the blanket.

What was I going to do?

"Ikuto!" A voice, the girl's voice I had heard earlier, pierced my ears.

"What, Utau? Leave me alone."

I shuffled the slightest fraction so that I could see the people who, apparently, lived in this house.

The boy, Ikuto, was tall and had an almost feline figure. His messy deep blue hair fell in front of his face, and his eyes were a shade of purplish-blue I couldn't describe.

The girl, Utau, was shorter and seemed younger, but still definitely teenage. She wore her knee-length blonde hair in ponytails that seemed anything but childish on her. The only similarity between her and the boy I assumed to be her brother were her eyes, which glowed the same shade of purple.

"What did you break?"

"I don't know, but Utau-"

"That's Mama's anniversary gift to Papa!" Utau screamed, and Ikuto flinched. "What were you doing, messing around in his room anyway?!"

"I-"

"Ikuto, you idiot!"

"Utau, stop." Ikuto replied, voice laced with anger and guilt.

"I will not stop! You broke something precious, all because you were playing around in his room!" Utau wailed.

"I wasn't."

"What?!"

"I wasn't playing around."

"Then what…?"

"I was looking for something."

"Ikuto, is it-"

"Yes, it is. Now Utau, if you could leave me alone-"

"Of course." Utau, suddenly sounding meek and nervous, left the room in a hurry.

Leaving me with only questions.

I had stayed in dozens, maybe even hundreds of houses and never once had I been this intrigued.

Ikuto sighed and continued sifting through the boxes. I tensed as he approached the bed, calming myself only with the thought that he wouldn't look for something in a bed.

So when he flung the covers off me, I jumped like I had been electrocuted.

I leaped into the air and landed with a thump behind Ikuto, and he whirled around. I twisted to the side and hid myself behind a precarious stack of boxes.

"What the-? I swear I heard something...I saw something, too…"

I sighed in relief, knowing that Ikuto would soon brush it off as a hallucination.

But I needed to leave, now that he had heard me and seen my 'transparent form', what people see if they look hard enough for me.

I crept down the hallway, a foolish part of me reluctant to leave. I walked faster, frightened by my own overwhelming desire to know more.

I thrust open the door.

The biting gale-force winds bit at me, and I staggered and fell within moments. Snow was falling fast and thick, covering the world in an even deeper white and freezing me to the bone.

_Keep going._

_Come on, leave it behind. What is so special about those two?_

_You can survive the cold._

_Come on._

_Come on…_

_Amu._

And yet...I had returned.

* * *

"I'm leaving, Ikuto!"

"Fine."

I watched as Utau closed the door, scarves billowing behind her. I stared at the roll in my hands, utterly and thoroughly ashamed.

What was wrong with me?

I had come back to this house like some maniac stalker last night, when I should have just moved on. Even now I could easily step through the door, but something bound me to this house.

Something bound me to these people.

I followed Ikuto silently as he ascended the stairs, to his own room. I slipped in behind him and watched as he prepared to open the case.

"Is someone there?"

I gulped and hid. Whatever the case may be with my invisibility, I didn't want to be in sight.

"I think I'm going crazy, thinking there's some stalker after me or something…"

I chuckled to myself, forgetting for an instant that people could hear me. As Ikuto turned and jumped I raced outside, pushing myself through the door-to follow Utau now, I guess.

It was creepy, how I was drawn to these two, how I was not able to leave. I didn't even like these people much. Yet I was not fighting it, I was stalking a random pair of siblings lie I did it every day.

Maybe it was because of the first conversation, that defined them as 'suffering'?

Maybe it was because...I could see my sadness in their eyes.

Breath misting the air in front of me, I squinted through the cold air as I wished I had worn a jacket. I could glimpse Utau ahead.

"Utau!" a peppy voice called, a person that I couldn't see through all the snow that was being kicked up.

"Yaya!" A young girl, maybe a year or so younger than me, stepped into view. She was clutching a mug of hot chocolate and two red bows flopped at the sides of her head.

I watched, fascinated, as more people came forward, until Utau was surrounded by a group of around five chattering boys and girls.

Of course they weren't like me. I had been stupid to think that they might have been alone, friendless, just like me.

It didn't matter.

This was...this was my punishment.

For breaking the rules of my home planet, for doing unspeakable things.

But I had tried to act for the best, so why...?

I sprinted away from the scene, teardrops falling from my face like shards of ice.

Tears of sadness.

Tears of frustration.

Tears of shame.

I gazed down at my hands.

My fingers, seemingly unchanged, slender and pale.

But the power these fingers used to hold...

Were taken from me, along with my identity.

I broke down for the first time in three years, reality finally catching up to me. I sank into the snow, sinking into the sea of white around me.

"Hey."

I turned, twisting my head to look at the owner of the voice that had addressed me.

And there stood Ikuto, kneeling in front of me with Utau at his side. Surrounding them were the others, the people who Utau seemed to know.

"Why are you crying?" Utau asked, offering me a hand.

"You'll catch a cold." a petite blonde girl announced, pretending to be indifferent.

Someone, a boy or girl, (I honestly wasn't sure) offered me his jacket. "What's your name?"

"Want some candy?" The little Yaya girl thrust forward a bag of sweets.

"Ace!" another boy protested. "I'm really sorry, um…"

"Tell us what's wrong, maybe we can help you." Crimson eyes met mine as a boy with long locks of blonde hair helped me up.

"Crying is bad for you. You won't be able to run as fast." A tall, athletic boy slapped me a bit too hard on the back.

But I didn't care.

Somehow, these people…

They were looking at me.

Seeing me.

* * *

**I opened the story with Ikuto and Utau, but all the Guardians are major characters. This will be a magic story, but there is a lot of sentimental stuff and drama. **

**I had a hard time illustrating the way Amu feels drawn to Ikuto and Utau's loneliness. Please, if you have any suggestions/criticisms, I'm always looking to improve. I know I'm not exactly a spectacular writer, so yeah...**

**Also, for anyone who has watched the anime Fairy Tail, I am writing a crossover of Shugo Chara and Fairy Tail called The Ultimate, which no one bothers to read or review. Check it out if you like action and drama! **

**Thanks, and ReachForTheSky is out!**


	3. Hope Left For Me

**Hi, everyone! Thanks to all my reviewers for the last chapter-Friends (Guest), Emily-at-random, and xxmewswesomenessxx. They really make me feel inspired. **

**So, since I can't reply to you, Friends, thanks so much for your constructive criticism. I can see where this story went wrong now, so thanks. I'll try to fix that. But I just can't get rid of all my one-liners, so I have a couple in there.**

**Base the ages off of Amu being around fourteen or fifteen, so she was anime-age when she was "banished". Also, she doesn't address anyone formally. This is because I was lazy.**

* * *

I was dumbfounded. I was so dumbfounded that I let them lead me along like some lost dog over to Ikuto and Utau's house, where Utau gave me a fresh set of clothes and ordered me to change.

"B-but, but…" I stammered, still utterly confused as to why exactly they could see me.

"What are you doing?!" the tall boy, the one who had slapped my back, hissed in my ear. "Don't disobey Utau, unless you want to see her dark side." I still stood there like a deer in headlights, brain frozen like the rest of me. The little blonde shoved me into the room, demanding that I change then explain exactly why I was wailing in the middle of a park in winter.

So I played along, convincing myself that I would find out what was going on later.

I stepped out awkwardly, wearing Utau's overly fancy pale blue sweater and black leggings that were obviously supposed to be tight. What was she, some kind of celebrity?

"So, what's your name?" asked the...the person. I could see that it's hair was long, though bundled under a hat, and it had big, feminine eyes, but it stood like a boy.

"What's your gender?" I snapped back, eyes widening momentarily as I realized that my sassy attitude had made a comeback.

But it's eyes had widened too, and everyone stared at me for an awkward moment. Finally, it lowered it's head. "I'm a guy."

I backed away, flustered. "I'm sorry, I, I just, please don't…"

"Are you stupid? Don't apologize; you're not the problem." the little blonde announced, trying to face me head on but utterly failing. This, because she was nearly a foot shorter than me.

The one with red eyes (though he looked far from evil) gestured me down the stairs. "Don't get upset, it's just that-"

"Tadase." Ikuto muttered, keeping his gaze on the floor.

"Hey, hey, answer Nagi's question!" Yaya edged in front of everybody else, and I had to stop abruptly in order to avoid sending her plummeting down the stairs.

"Uh, it's Amu."

"Amu-chi, huh?"

"Ch-ch-chi?!"

"Amu?" questioned the boy who had scolded Yaya before.

"Yes, it's Amu. Why?" I answered, tilting my head to the side.

"Nothing. That's just an...unusual name." He shoved his glasses up higher on his nose and pulled out fat notebook. "I must research it later." he murmured as he scribbled furiously in it.

Not knowing how to react, I turned my head in the direction of Utau and the sporty boy.

"Hey, Utau, did your next album come out yet?"

"Kukai, you're such a kid. It won't come out till next month, and-"

"Three times." Kukai winked.

"Not here, Kukai! With Amu and all?!" Utau cried.

Kukai chuckled. "Fine, but you better make her extra welcome."

"It's a bet. Whoever treats her worse loses." Utau snapped.

"Twenty bucks?"

"Deal."

And then, suddenly, Utau was leading me down the stairs. "So, Amu, where do you come from?"

I opened my mouth to say something, then realized that I had no home. I came from nowhere, I was nobody-at least until these people found me.

"Utau-chi! You made her cry again!" Yaya grumbled. "That's points off!"

Surprised, I brought a hand to my face and found it wet with tears. I guess I really did break down today.

"So, you're homeless? That's sad." Kukai said, running a hand through his brown hair and tousling it further.

"Tact, Kukai. Points off." the little blonde made a mark on a clipboard that seemed to have come out of nowhere.

"Okay, what-"

"What is with you people? Is that what you were going to say?" Ikuto, who had removed himself from the chattering crowd, raised his head briefly to glance at me.

"Utau and Kukai are overly competitive, and Utau's a pop star. Yaya's a candyholic and Kairi is a workaholic-when it comes to academics, that is. Rima's always cold to strangers and Nagihko crossdresses. Tadase's, well, pretty much normal, except for the fact that he's super polite and wants to take over the world when he grows up. Happy?"

The room was silent.

"Hey, you forgot something. Ikuto's a creepy idiot who makes comments that destroy other people's self-esteem and acts cool but actually play-"

"Enough! Enough, Rima."

"Hey, Ikuto, what do you play? A sport?" I asked, trying to make an attempt at friendly coversation. But where Ikuto was supposed to be, there was just air.

"That's Ikuto for you. He comes and he goes." Utau said almost bitterly. "Want some cake? It was Ikuto's birthday a while ago, and I was stupid enough to buy one."

"Why is that so stupid?" I wondered aloud.

Kairi, the studious boy, chuckled. "He didn't even show up."

"Such a waste of cake!" Yaya moaned.

I laughed halfheartedly along with everyone else. I let the hours pass, I let myself be lulled into a trap of distraction. I needed to get away, before they started asking the questions, the ones I couldn't answer. The ones about school, and family, and everything else that I didn't have.

Thanks to her. She had taken it all from me, three years ago, and yet...it was somehow still my fault.

_Nadeshiko...where are you now? Are you safe? As much as I hate you, I can't help but wonder if you finally got your wish…._

"Amu." Rima set her teacup down with a little clink. "We need to know why you were so upset."

"Why?"

Rima opened her mouth indignantly, but Tadase shook his head the slightest fraction. "We might be able to help you."

Tadase, Rima, that's sweet, but it won't cut it. It can't be helped. I'm a mistake, a failure of a Guardian.

I'm not even human, idiots.

I stood, setting down my plate, still untouched. "Thank you for the hospitality, Utau, but I really must be going."

"Where? Do you even have any other place to go?"

"...The orphanage?" I faked.

Rima walked over, long locks tumbling down behind her back. "That's stupid, Amu. You're really bad at lying."

"Stay with me." Utau offered. "Mother almost never shows up and we have plenty of room."

"Sorry. Bye." I made an attempt to leave, but Kukai was in front of the door in a flash. "You stay with Utau. I would offer, but we don't have any spare clothes for you in a house of boys."

"Yaya's parents say I can't have friends sleep over, sorry. But Utau-chi is a nice friend!"

"I'm an only child, so I'm afraid you can't stay with me for the lack of girl...necessities." Tadase bowed his head in apology.

Only Kairi was mouthing furious words at Utau, and they had a whispered quarrel of which I only caught things like "Amu" "find out" and "nowhere else to go."

Kairi finally relented, and without any say of mine they all unanimously voted that I was going to stay with Utau.

"But, but…" I stuttered for the second time that day.

"But what? You're staying." Utau shoved me onto the couch. All the others slowly left, murmuring words of farewell as they shut the door behind them. Utau strolled over to the door nonchalantly, and then locked it. I yelped sounds of protest as Utau locked the key in a locked drawer and stored the key in her pocket.

She was, quite literally, trapping me.

"U-Utau!"

"Eat the cake. I'm going to do vocal exercises, and it better be gone by the time I come down." And with that she stalked off, leaving me only with a slice of marble cake and my very own depressing thoughts.

Maybe the reason why I was crying was because of the time of year. Winter...had been the season I had been banished. In fact, December first...two weeks ago had been the third year since Nadeshiko had made all the wrong choices.

Nadeshiko had been my friend, and yet she had caused to be like this. At the cost of my future, my identity, she had chosen herself over me, even though I gave her everything she ever wanted...

"Amu!"

"Huh?" I blinked sleepily and yawned.

"Amu, you fell asleep. Are you sure you're okay?" Utau was looming over me, one hand on my shoulder.

"Ah, sorry, Utau, I just…."

Utau smiled wryly. "You haven't slept properly in a while, I'm guessing."

_Not for the past three years._

I shook all those thoughts, those brutal thoughts, out of my mind. I didn't know why Utau and the rest could see me, or why I was going along with it.

But this was my life now. I had secluded myself long enough, wallowing in self-pity until I no longer knew what happiness felt like.

I'm sorry, Nadeshiko, but you left me like this. You shattered me into pieces, and now it's time for me to pick them up, to continue with the shards of hope I still have left.

"Yeah, it's hard in winter…" I tried my best to give her a sad smile, but all Utau did was flinch.

"Is your mouth okay too?"

As we made our way up to the guest bedroom, a slight draft blew my way. I glanced in the direction of the chilly breeze and found Ikuto, climbing through the window like he did it every day.

"Oh, Ikuto." Utau backtracked and made her way to the window. "Amu's got no other place to go, so she's staying here. 'Kay?"

"Fine." Ikuto didn't even look at his younger sister. He simply leaped onto the floor with catlike agility and made his way upstairs.

I stared after him. "Is he always out the whole day?"

Utau sighed. "Yes, usually, but he's got a job too. I mean, my singing brings in lots of money but I have to pay mortgage and bills. Plus, I'm not emancipated-that means I can handle my own money-and my manager doesn't know that my mother is never around and my father...well, he disappeared." A shadow crossed her face as she said that, and I knew not to press any further.

"So, well...what job does Ikuto have?" I asked as we reached the second floor.

Utau chuckled. "It's hilarious. He works at a music store, but only as a helper-so he goes around organizing bookshelves and stuff while staring at all those beautiful instruments."

"Why is that hilarious?"

"Because I hate music." Ikuto had crept up behind me, silent as night. I jumped a foot into the air and whirled around, but he was gone.

Utau shrugged. "That's Ikuto for you. He's probably listening to every word we say." There was still a ghost of a smile on her face as she spoke, and I got the feeling that they weren't telling me everything.

"So, Amu, how does the guest room look to you?" Utau opened the door, revealing a beautiful yet somewhat barren room with dusty wood floors and a bed piled high with pillows. "I'll clean it, you just...go downstairs." Uatu practically shoved me out of the room and I caught myself just before I tumbled down the stairs.

The house was eerily quiet. I tiptoed into the kitchen as jumped backward, once more, as I discovered Ikuto on the counter.

"Wh-wh-wh-"

Ikuto rolled his eyes. "Do I not have the right to be in my own house, Your Majesty?"

"Don't call me that. How is the girl you picked off of the street royalty?" I could hear the bitterness in my voice that sharpened every syllable, and Ikuto's face softened the slightest fraction.

"Whatever, just do what you want. I honestly don't care." Ikuto landed on the tiles and prepared to leave, but I stopped him on the spur of the moment.

"Ikuto, Utau takes care of all the housework, and she brings in most of the money. The least you could do is look at your sister."

His eyes widened in shock for a split second, then he turned and left. "I guess. She's a good kid." The words, spoken softly but still clear in my ears, were the last echo of him that I saw that day.

* * *

"Hello?" I hesitantly opened the door. As recompense for Utau letting me stay over, I was in charge of the house and housework every day while she was at work. School was temporarily closed due to the blizzard, so I didn't have to face that problem just yet.

"Utau-chan, we have-oh, it's you, Amu-chan." I froze.

Nadeshiko was at the door.

I blinked. At a second glance, I saw that it was Nagihko. His long violet hair and golden brown eyes were only too reminiscent of Nadeshiko.

"Do you...by any chance...have a sister?" I stammered.

"Where's Utau-chan?"

"Working, but-."

Nagihko groaned. "Ikuto?"

"Out, but-"

"Amu-chan, I-'

"DO YOU HAVE A SISTER OR NOT?!" I bellowed. Nadeshiko...she was just everywhere in him. It set my senses on overdrive.

"I do, but we have more pressing problems."

"Where is she now? Trust me, this is more important than whatever else you may be here for."

"Sh-she's safe. At home."

It must have been just a hallucination. Her face must be fading, blending with the face of everybody I saw with purple hair. Which wasn't many, but still.

"I'm sorry, Nagihko, but I just knew someone with purple hair and brown eyes. Now what was your problem?" I forced another smile.

"Never mind." Nagihko lowered his head, and I frowned.

"I might be able to help you."

Rima staggered into view even as I said those words, panting heavily."Where's...Utau...Ikuto…?"

"They're out, Rima-chan. Why did you come? Are Hotori-kun and the rest okay?"

Rima raised her head, desperation etched on every line of her face. "No. We're losing."

Simultaneously, Rima and Nagihko turned to face me. Nagihko grabbed me by the wrist and started pulling me along. "Amu-chan…please, don't freak out. We need your help, however inept you may be."

Rima handed me a dagger, that glowed with something other than the sparkle of metal-magic. "How well can you fight?"

This dagger wasn't made by humans.

It was one from my world.

* * *

**Thanks for struggling through this chapter! You're beginning to see that this will be a magic story, though it's also a drama.**

**I'm trying to change the summary so it doesn't sound so depressing, because even though this is a sad story, it's not a tragedy. So keep in mind that the summary might change. I'm also going to upload a profile picture as soon as I figure out how!**

**ReachForTheSky is out. **


	4. Listen to Me

**Hey people!**

**Thanks to Emily-at-random and Cinnomonandsugar. **

**This chapter isn't that great. There's a lot of setup to be done, it's part and parcel of an AU story. If you're reading this then you must have at least somewhat like the first few chapters, so bear with me for one more. Then it will get interesting.**

* * *

I kept up easily with Nagihiko, old memories springing to the surface with every step. Being here, being seen, with a dagger from my homeland...I would figure everything out later.

"Amu-chan, are you sure you'll be okay?" Nagihiko second-guessed himself.

Rima caught up to us for a moment, short legs working furiously. "She'll be fine. She agreed...and you've gotta... be tough to... agree to something like that... Besides, who would... accept something…. like that without... experience?" Gasping, the seemingly non-athletic girl fell behind.

As an open clearing shifted into view, Nagihiko pushed himself to breakneck speed. I followed, eager to fight once more.

"Amu, this isn't just a dagger." Rima faced me as we skidded to a stop. "I mean, we wouldn't even need you under normal circumstances, but Ikuto and Utau are our strongest fighters. Without them, we're in trouble."

"This dagger is magical. Just twist the hilt, and you can summon several different powers to your aid."

"R-really?" I tried to muster up a surprised face, but I was never very good at acting.

"I know it's a lot to handle, but we're begging you. There are demons out there, and the rest of us are struggling. So basically, to fight..."

I sighed. How much longer were they going to explain? I already knew all of this. Back home, these demons had been the only thing that threatened us. We had sparred with them often, and seemed that these people did the same. Maybe, just maybe...were they like me? Ex-Guardians?

I scrutinized them closely as they huddled, heads bent in strategy.

Not possible. I couldn't sense magic from them. They were just using the weapons for magic. So who were they?

"Amu!" Rima yanked me forward, jarring me out of my thoughts and into battle.

A demon with jet-black hair, red clothing and unnaturally pale skin spun a spear between his long fingers. "You're not human." he hissed, red eyes narrowing into slits.

"I believe I already knew that." I charged, twisting the hilt like I had done so many times before.

"Spiral Dagger!" I thrust the dagger into the air, watching in twist in the it spin out of control, I whispered a spell that the rest could not hear.

I blew gently over my palms. "Dance, wind, to my command." Pulling my fingers like they were a puppeteer's strings, I let the wind wreath around the dagger. It shot towards the demon, who caught it deftly on the point of his spear and snatched it. I cursed, knowing that now the demon had a double advantage of both weapons.

It's magic powers were definitely less than mine. So I could use powerful magic as long as no one could see me-

"Stupid. You Guardians always thought too much about strategy." The demon's voice hit my ears not a second too soon. I whirled around and pulled the wind once more, bending the spear until it shot off to the side. I leaped deftly to the side and caught it.

"Weapon switch, huh? Fine by me." The demon cackled.

"No way. I'm not using your Shadow Spear."

"Shadow Spear, huh? So you know what it is…"

I broke the spear cleanly in half, but inspiration had struck the demon's face.

"You've fought someone who's used a Shadow Spear, haven't you." It was a statement, not a question.

"I have. What of it?" I asked in a fake-casual voice, though I stiffened involuntarily.

"You're Amu Hinamori, aren't you? The Guardian who failed her own Character." The battle had stopped, I had stopped, my heart had stopped.

"Stop. Stop, or else I'll attack." I threatened, though it was just barely a whisper. I was shaking, shuddering with every breath. I could already feel the tears burning at the corners of my eyes.

"Are you serious, Guardian? I happen to know information about your Character, what was her name? Ah, that's it. Nadeshiko."

"No. Stop, demon, I'll do anything-"

"You wanna know what happened to her? Of course, she couldn't frolic around in our world forever. The soldiers tracked her down quite quickly, and-"

"STOP!" The tears were pouring down my face by now. I knew what happened, but I couldn't bear to hear it in words. I knew what happened to a Character who trespasses in the world of the Guardians.

Before I knew it the demon had knocked me onto the ground. I sank into the snowdrifts surrounding me and accepted the dagger plunging towards me, because I knew I deserved it-

"Nightmare LORELEI!"

Burst of purple, flash of a trident, tears, shouts, confusion. In the midst of the chaos, I did what I did best. I escaped.

"Amu! Amu, wait!" Voices called out after me, but I wanted to flee from them all. I wished-I wished, more than I wished for Nadeshiko, more than I wished for happiness-I wished to disappear. I wished for what I had wished for three years not to be.

A hand snatched my shoulder. Whirling around, I thrust myself out of Ikuto's grip though he was quick to grab my wrist. His eyes were dark and glinted with some kind of hidden emotion. What was it? Anger, pain...I didn't know.

"You're an idiot, running off like that. I know they freak you out at first, but at least tell us. Then we wouldn't have to go dashing after you."

"D-don't, Ikuto. J-just leave m-me alone."

Ikuto sighed. "You really are an idiot. That demon was using magic to fool you, to entice you into feeling awful about everything you've ever done. Who were the idiots who gave you a weapon and expected you to fight anyway?"

"You use 'idiot' a lot, don't you?" I managed a weak smile. "Where are the others?"

"Rima, Yaya and Utau stayed behind, Kukai was supposed to come but dunno where he is, Kairi is probably on his way and there comes Nagihiko." Sure enough, there he was. Nagihiko stumbled forward and literally threw himself at my feet.

"I am so sorry, Amu, so sorry." He gasped, indigo hair tumbled all over the snow like ripples of water. Ikuto yanked him off the ground and scolded him lightly, as I fake smiled while feeling extremely stupid.

Magic. How had I not known? I was supposed to be strong, but maybe three years had dulled my senses. And thanks to that, I had ran off like some scared rabbit and made everyone tear after me.

"Amu, how many times are you gonna space out today?" Ikuto groaned.

"Huh?" I glanced up and saw that everyone had arrived, through covered head to foot in nasty cuts and bruises.

"Tough bunch today. I can see why Amu bolted." Utau brushed her hair out of her eyes. "Let's head home. My place." Murmuring amongst themselves, the eight of them began to leave. I stood uncertainly, but Rima caught my gaze with her huge yet cold brown eyes. "Come on, Amu. Do you want to freeze to death or what?"

Stuttering in my usual clumsy way, I followed the others.

But Nadeshiko still haunted my thoughts, just as she haunted my every move.

* * *

Kairi pushed his glasses higher upon the bridge of his nose. "You are most likely confused as to what the creatures you fought were and the magical weapon you weided. Which you did a surprisingly good job with, by the way. I give you my congratulations."

"Thank you…?"

Kairi rolled on as if I had never said anything. "We are a group of people who fight these...demons, for want of a better name, who are the main cause of drastic evil events and which we can see. We are, as you might say, flukes, it's not natural to be able to see demons. As a result, we have been drawn to one another and now we are fighting to survive rather than to repel evil. Demons track us, and though we lead everyday lives, we are constantly fighting them."

If I had been able to go home, I would have left there and then. This was groundbreaking news! Characters, humans, fighting the demons. My heart began to race and I listened intently to what Tadase said next.

"You might ask, how do we know this? Mostly through what slips out of the unruly mouths of the demons. We have also developed the ability to use the tools and weapons of the demons and the good counterparts, Guardians. While demons work to destroy humans and unity, Guardians work to protect them."

My throat went dry at the mention of Guardians. Protect...I had failed to protect.

"There is one Guardian for each person in this world, while demons travel in groups." Rima took over, speaking with cold precision. "We can see demons, but only once we have truly mastered the art of Guardian magic may we see Guardians."

How stupid. You've already reached that level. All of you are sitting there and staring right at me- a Guardian. You talk like you know everything, but there so much more.

I probed within them with my sensory powers, searching for their Guardian. Of course I had wondered about their Guardians, but our kind weren't stalkers. We came and went as we pleased, but in this time of real danger their Guardians should have come.

I found nothing, though, and frowned. Had they been abandoned? No...that wasn't possible, nor was it allowed. Looking closer,I thought I could see just a glimpse of the Guardians of these eight, mere shadows.

Of course. The 'fluke' Kairi was talking about was just that their Guardians never fully separated from them.

"That's about all we know. When I dragged you along today to fight demons I completely forgot about the fact that you shouldn't be able to see them." Nagihiko studied me intently. "But it seems like you truly are one of us. I don't know how, but you were drawn here. Kukai? That's your cue."

The brown-haired boy flashed a thumbs-up and darted into Ikuto and Utau's kitchen. When he returned, he was carrying a huge leather case.

My eyes widened. I knew what would be in there.

"We always have a bunch of spares. Pick one, whichever one." Kukai flung the case open.

"I…" A dark sheath embroidered with intricate patterns at the base caught my eye. I pulled the sword out, marveling at the luster it cast over all of us. It was a little like like the old one I wielded at wasn't like a cliche story where the character finds a sword that "fits" them perfectly. It was nice, it was flexible, I could work with it. It wasn't perfect. It was okay.

But why should I join in the first place? Most likely they would try to drag me off to school or someplace else, and when they found out I was a Guardian…when they found out what I did to my Character, my human, it would be harder for me to let go of them than if I just left now.

But they would suspect me if I didn't join, too.

Reluctantly, I lifted the sword._ Soon_, I promised myself. _You'll leave them, soon._

You have to.

* * *

_Chained to a filthy stone wall, she looks up with deadened amber eyes. Her violet hair lies limp and bedraggled. Her clothes are_ _tattered and she is wounded in several places._

_The guards come for her, holding large clubs. "Human." _

_They must knock her out, so that she does not see who will be coming, who will be passing by._

_This is not abnormal. She has never seen anyone from this world, apart from these guards and the demon who captured her._

_And Amu-chan._

_The guards raise their clubs and she braces herself. This is the price, she tells herself. You should have listened..._

_Screams fill the air._

* * *

**Interesting enough for you guys? Like it? Hate it? Any guesses as to what the real plot is? Sorry for the times in the story when it didn't flow properly, I cut a lot of parts because the chapter was going around in circles.**

**ReachForTheSky is out. **


	5. The Voice That Haunts Me

**Sorry I took so long. Stuff piled up. Homework, tests, the usual.**

**Reviewers - Queenzeze, Lolly1o1, and my faithful Emily-at-random, thanks so much!**

**Do you like my new cover picture? I drew it myself. I learned from one of my two best friends, who I know is gonna read this sometime or the other. I never got around to saying thank you properly.**

* * *

_"Amu-chan…"_

_"Nadeshiko? What's wrong?"_

_"I have a favor to ask of you."_

_"What?"_

_"Would you let me see...your world?"_

_"What?! But Nadeshiko, why-"_

_"Amu-chan, the only way I can raise my level is getting magic, real magic. I've already hit the limit of what I can do already."_

_"You can't! This isn't a video game, Nadeshiko!"_

_"I-I...I know. I won't ask again."_

_"Oh-okay. Okay, then."_

_"Amu-chan..."_

_"What?"_

_" I...you're my best friend. Okay?"_

_"Uh...okay. You're my best friend too."_

_"I'm headed out."_

_"Okay. See you later!"_

_"Yeah. I'll...I'll be back soon."_

* * *

I woke slowly, reluctant to leave the warm, safe dream that had caressed me in its arms for a few brief moments. Sunlight lit up the room with a golden glow, and it seemed like the world was filled with color.

I stretched and sighed, the remnants of one of my last conversations with Nadeshiko still haunting my mind. Every time she spoke in my mind-and I hallucinated of her quite a lot-I was reminded that soon, I would I have to leave here. Nadeshiko's actions had doomed me to wander forever. But maybe by the time I had to flee, I would have gathered enough hope to last me for a few more years.

I guess that was my problem. With the slightest encouragement I turned enthusiastic and cheerful, never able to dwell on a problem too long. New friends had lit a spark within me, and now it was a raging fire of hope.

I headed downstairs, dressed in the sweater and jeans Utau had set out for me last night. The windows were misted with cold and snow dusted the sills. I shivered, suddenly feeling thankful for the warm house and fresh cinnamon smell wafting towards me as I reached the kitchen.

Utau was munching silently on a piece of cinnamon bread, dressed in an off-shoulder purple top and silver leggings. It seemed forcedly casual. As if it was something someone else had put out for her, pushed her into like a baby in a silk dress.

Ikuto was sitting at the far edge of the table closest to the window, brooding as he stared out at the snow-topped landscape ahead of him. The plate of bread before him was untouched.

Utau looked up hurriedly at my arrival, standing up awkwardly and nearly shoving me a slice of bread.

"Good morning! Have some bread." She said, putting on a falsely cheery smile and steering me over to a chair. Utterly bewildered, I lifted my knife warily and began to eat.

Ikuto stood, bread still uneaten. Casting a suspicious glance over at me, he slipped on his shoes and left without a word.

"Well," Utau cleared her throat. "I've gotta get going. I have a song to record. Take care of the housework. Of course I could handle it myself, but…" Face reddening, she too ran out the door.

"Yeah right. Like you 'could handle it yourself', Little Miss Stubborn." I grumbled as the door slammed behind her.

But something was definitely off. Utau, from what I'd seen in the past couple of days, would never be one to offer me bread in such a happy voice. The bitterness, the grief that always lingered in their eyes, it bugged me. Even Yaya disguised her unhappiness with a bright smile and piles of candy.

What was their sadness?

* * *

_"Don't stare at me, don't capture me,_

_I'm a butterfly that's lost her way_

_I sing of freedom on invisible wings_

_I've hidden them deep inside your heart!"_

Humming along to the music break of Utau's song, I spun the mop like it was my nonexistent dance partner. My sock caught on the wet tile, and Utau's next words were drowned out by my scream. The ground lurched towards me as I fell, and as I made contact with the tile I saw the radio out of the corner of my eye, falling-

"Ouch!" I slid my now-swollen foot out from under the radio and examined in thoroughly. I attempted walking on it but stumbled, though it honestly didn't hurt that bad.

"You are clumsy, aren't you." Kairi offered me a hand, face blank and eyes hidden by the glare of his glasses. Where had he come from?

Tadase-kun, who seemed to have accompanied him, set the radio gently back atop the counter. "Amu-chan, are you okay?"

I pushed myself back on to my feet, wincing as my injured foot touched the floor. "I'm fine. But why are you here?"

Tadase-kun smiled. "It's Sunday, and seeing as everyone was busy, we decided to check up on you."

I blushed. Had they seen me singing?

"Hm. It's been a while since I heard any amatuer but Yaya sing." Kairi said, eyeing me as if my mediocre voice was a fatal flaw.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, embarrassed by Kairi's stare.

"Well, Yuiki-san has ballet, Nagihiko has dance, Mashiro-san's parents are out and won't let her go out alone, Utau-chan's working, and Ikuto-niisan is...well...no one really knows where he goes after work." Tadase-kun recounted.

"Don't you have demons to fight?" I asked coolly, as my shell slammed shut around me. I could feel my own gaze harden, and my muscles stiffened.

"Well, they only show up sometimes. We're actually free, do you need any help?" Tadase-kun was so polite, it almost broke my cold cover. But my facade was unstoppable. I had needed it more than ever in the past three years, to shield myself from the sadness that I would have easily succumbed to otherwise. And now, I couldn't let it go.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm actually done."

Tadase-kun bit his lip anxiously. "Sorry, Amu-chan. And - would you like me to address me more formally? It's just, I don't know your last name, and…" I had managed to upset him quite a lot, hadn't I?

"It's fine. And it's Hinamori." I turned so I was no longer facing Tadase-kun and Kairi.

"Hinamori-san. Something is wrong, is it not?" Kairi edged his way over to the sink and scrutinized me with stone-cold eyes. I flinched and turned further.

"No, it's fine, everything's fine."

_"Don't lie, Amu-chan."_ There it was, Nadeshiko's voice. The hallucinations that had shadowed me since she betrayed me three years ago.

_"It's me this time, the real me. I miss you very much, Amu-chan. Why don't you come and get me? Then we can be together again, right? Like the old days."_

So cruel. Nadeshiko, even if you only exist in my head, we can never live like the old days. The things you did were unforgivable.

_"That's right...I hurt you so bad, didn't I? I'm so sorry, Amu-chan. But you always liked the human world."_

Not as much as I loved my home, and my family! Ami, Mama, Papa, they must have given up by now. And it was all your fault, Nadeshiko. Your fault that I was banished. Your fault you died.

_"But Amu-chan, I'm not dead. They're keeping me prisoner. So please, I'm begging you now, come save me."_

Lies. I was going insane. The fake Nadeshiko was driving me crazy.

_"Amu-chan, p-please. They torture me, trying to get information. They'll kill me if you don't come. The hallucinations are real, Amu-chan! All of them have been!"_

I pretended to absorb myself in washing dishes, ignoring Tadase-kun and Kairi's concerned glances..

_"I'm so happy that you found friends. They're wonderful people. I have to go now, Amu-chan, but please remember. The laughter we once shared. The happiness, the innocence. Do you remember, when we used to be best friends?"_

She faded away, echoes of her words still haunting me minutes after her voice had silenced. Tadase-kun and Kairi began to engage me in conversation, not knowing the battle I had just fought within myself, and laughed, though a bit shakily, along with them. The day passed in a blur of happiness, though dark thoughts occasionally clouded the joy.

Nadeshiko's voice followed me everywhere. I knew that it couldn't be real, because they had killed her for sure. But now, I wondered…

Do I still hate you, Nadeshiko?

"I'm headed out!" I called, and Utau gave me a thumbs up before resuming her practice. It had been days since Nadeshiko hallucinations had plagued me, and I was happy as I could be in my circumstances.

Humming softly to myself, I stepped out into the biting cold. The little town looked adorable in the fresh snow. Houses glowed invitingly with golden lights, and people were finally beginning setup of the Christmas tree in the town center. And the best part? It was so cold out and the snow was so fresh that there wasn't any disgusting slush around.

I wandered away from the hustle and bustle, knowing that my invisibility would only get me into trouble there. I was the only one, apart from Utau and the rest, who could see me. Even the mirror reflected nothing back at me.

I didn't know why I had left. Utau's management was planning a huge Christmas promotion party (which I would have to think up a way to get out of) and as Utau's "helper" I should be helping.

But I had begun to crave alone time again, though invisibility was horrible. It wasn't not being seen-in fact, that problem had already been solved. It was the sadness, the loneliness, that came with it. The empty feeling that filled you up when you looked into a pond and saw nothing but faint ripples of water. Your identity, your smile, your story was reduced to nothing but an nonexistent face and an empty heart. The Guardian Court had certainly known that isolation for eternity would make me miserable for eternity.

I was happier now, happier than I had been for three years. It had come back slowly, the joy that I once had, and now it was a part of my life. I had another seven days-Christmas break had begun three days ago-before school resumed. The countdown ticked inside my head, and a bitter feeling filled my mouth with the close of every day.

I began to climb a hill, hoping that maybe I could see the Christmas tree and all those decorations. From afar, of course. I couldn't risk being with so many people.

It was a tough climb, mainly because I avoided using magic. It was just so hard, in this unfamiliar world where the ground was stone-cold like the hearts of many people.

I was tired but refreshed as I clambered over a lump of snow obviously hiding a rock and found myself at the hilltop. The land stretched out before me, dusted in layers of snow and glowing with Christmas lights. I let myself fall backwards, falling into the snow and letting it cover me like a cold blanket. The sky was pale blue, cloudless, but void of vivid colors. It was beautiful to look at, and soon I lost myself in the endless blue depths.

Christmas was Nadeshiko's favorite holiday. Was it cruel fate that she had gotten caught mere weeks before? Or that I had found a new life two days before the third Christmas since she left, and chained me here? I was thinking of her with every step that I took. She was evil, cruel. Yet I couldn't get her out of my mind. It was a vicious circle of guilt and hate. A vicious circle that I was trapped inside of.

I sat up, hands beginning to get numb. How long had I been here? An hour? In any case, I needed to get back.

Stumbling through the snowdrifts, I began to pick my way down the steep slope. It was harder than I had anticipated. My foot caught on a branch and I tumbled down, screams muffled by the snow in my mouth. I was moving fast, too fast to control myself. I curled up tight, bracing for impact, but instead I rolled to a gentle stop.

I fall a lot. Get used to it.

I wasn't entirely down the hill. By the looks of the landscape around me, I guessed that I was about a quarter way down. A few trees had made a little clearing, with a frozen pond and a few snowy bushes. As I turned, I spotted something.

Silhouetted against the whiteness was Ikuto.

He hadn't noticed me, apparently, as he was absorbed in something he was holding. It was a case, of a musical instrument perhaps. His hands were shaking slightly as they approached the clasp. this was obviously something important, something personal for him. He hadn't even noticed me, sharp hearing and all.

I stepped closer. Over the past few days, I had gotten to everyone, what they like and what ticked them off. Their smile, their voice. But with Ikuto, he just came and went. Elusive as a stray cat, silent as one too.

Ikuto fumbled with the silver clasp, breath billowing in front of him. His fingertips closed on the metal and then I realized how much I was violating his privacy.

I fled as quietly as I could.

* * *

Ikuto came home late, clutching the case as if it was his whole life. Utau and I had already finished eating and were washing the dishes.

"Serve yourself, Ikuto." Utau said. "I let you come home late, but I'm not gonna be your maid."

"Looks like Amu put an attitude in you." Ikuto lazily grabbed a glass of water.

"I always had an attitude." Utau replied softly. "You just never bothered to look for it."

As Ikuto ascended the stairs, without a word of apology to Utau, I contemplated following him and asking what the case was. But would he be mad that I had seen him?

Utau eventually left, more subdued than usual. Long after noise dwindled to the slow ticking of the clock and the occasional owl's hoot, I stayed at the table. My fingers played absently with the red-checked tablecloth, thinking of Ikuto's mysterious case, and before I knew it I was asleep.

* * *

_Ikuto crept down the stairs, case slung over his back. His eyebrows knitted in confusion as he saw Amu, head on the table, asleep. What was she doing on the table?_

_Her face was scrunched up in discomfort, and in her sleep she mumbled something that sounded like "Lee muh lone."_

_Nightmares. The little girl was more complex than he had thought. She was hiding something, though he didn't care to pry. He looked away, ignoring her cry out softly in her sleep._

_Ikuto's eyes darted over to her boots, lying crooked on the shoe-rack like she had come home in a hurry._

_He peered down at the pattern on the bottom of the boots. The size, the shape-there was no doubting it. Amu had seen him at the hill-clearing._

_He wasn't angry, no. He hadn't had the guts to open it anyway. But she had seen him, seen his vulnerability. That was the first step to breaking his wall._

_If he let her in, it would end like last time. His heart would be shattered all over again._

* * *

**The translation of Lunatic Butterfly was from Crunchyroll.**

**Like it? Hate it? I'd like to know.**


	6. The Tears That Chase Me

**HELLO WORLD! I'm sorry I took so long. I might change my update to once per two weeks.**

**Also, I forgot something very important: I DO NOT OWN SHUGO CHARA. ALL RIGHTS GO TO PEACH-PIT. I tend to forget disclaimers, so this goes for the whole story.**

* * *

"Hey, Amu." Rima stepped inside the house without an invitation. "Utau told Yaya to tell me to tell you that the Christmas party is tomorrow." She took off her coat and attempted to hang it on the coat rack, but the only free hanger was too far up for her short self to reach.

"I can help you with that." I moved to take from Rima but she snatched it away with a stone-cold glare.

"I'll do it myself." she growled.

"Suit yourself." I grumbled. "I think all you people are too grumpy."

"Whatever." Rima grabbed a stool that sat nearby and clambered up.

"And I'm not going. To the party, I mean." I announced, turning to enter the kitchen.

Rima chuckled humorlessly. "You think you have a choice?"

"Why should I come? I'm just a guest, after all."

"You're one of us now. Demon fighters." Rima indicated the sheathed sword that lay on the counter.

"It's not like there are any to fight anyway." It was true. It had been Saturday when we fought those demons, and now it was Wednesday with no sign of them.

"It's unusual. We usually have to fight them every couple days or so." Rima sat down at Utau's table as if it were her own and sipped her cocoa delicately, seemingly unconcerned.

I tried to see her fighting demons. She was just so dainty, I couldn't imagine her fierce side.

"I know what you're thinking. I can fight. Better than, say, you."

How dare she? The cold little jerk. "Rima. You do not know how well I can fight."

"I do know that you totally fell for that demon's trap. What'd he say to you anyway? That Luring magic isn't just the spell, it's also what they say."

"Why would you want to know?" I snarled, stiffening at the thought of what the demon had said about Nadeshiko.

"Gee, you're snappy." Rima drawled, not even fazed.

"I don't get how such nice people are even friends with you."

" Utau? Yaya? Please. Don't call yourself a friend of theirs if you haven't seen their dark side."

"Who said I'm their friend?" I said, more like whispered actually.

Rima turned, hiding her doe eyes and haughty expression.

"That's it, Rima. I will not stand-"

"Who are you to give orders? When you have so many secrets, why do you act like we're the evil ones?" Rima's back was still turned. She spoke quietly, yet there was anger in them which I had never seen before in the little blonde.

"Why were you so much nicer back then, on Saturday?!" I cried.

"Things have changed since then." Rima replied softly, standing up and placing her cup in the sink. She left without another word, leaving me only with her icy expression, filled with fiery hate.

* * *

I felt as short as Rima.

Balancing on my toes, I stretched my fingers until I felt they could break, but it was no use. The eggs were still out of reach. I made one final leap, and my fingers grasped the edge of the egg carton.

YES!

"Hey, Amu-chiiiii!" A rush of red bows came rushing at me, and the egg carton went sailing straight out of my hands. I watched, as if in slow motion, as it soared downwards. Yaya dived, landing in a graceful position on the floor with the eggs balanced in one hand.

"What the heck, Yaya?! How did you do that?" I gasped, taking the eggs.

"Yaya dances." she said simply, striking a pose. "You cooking for Utau-chan?" she added. "She's totally psyched that you're around. To help her, I mean."

I chuckled. "So she doesn't like me for my company?"

"No, no, we all do!" Yaya waved her hands frantically. "You're a super fun person to be around! Yaya's super glad you came and everything. For real."

All of a sudden, a muffled sob pierced my ears, though I doubted that Yaya heard it. I glanced from left to right inconspicuously, trying to locate the sound.

"Bye-bye, Amu-chi! Yaya's gonna go shopping with Rima-tan!"

"See you around." I murmured, still disconcerted. As soon as Yaya had disappeared out of sight, I moved to the center of the kitchen and exhaled, concentrating the magic power that I was usually forced to contain within me,

"Light, give me the power to see all." I raised my palms in prayer to the sun, eyes closed, and when I opened them my vision was in a new league altogether.

Apart from having enhanced eyesight, See All let me sense heat, radiowaves, and the tracks of people. I could spot Yaya's little footprints, as well as my own footsteps. But there was another, smaller pair of feet that led in a swift path through the back door. The heat still lingered on their dainty prints, as well as forming a hazy outline of a person. Twisting my wrists, I drew the heat from the room and concentrated the raw magic on the heat outline hovering over the tracks. The images cleared, until I was looking at a set of pictures so sharp it was as if I was seeing an animation.

The figure that held the most heat created an image of none other than Rima, lurking behind the counter. And then, she had run, so fast that even my most enhanced magic could not sharpen it.

But, even as I undid the magic and knelt on the floor, examining droplets of water on the tile, I knew one thing was for sure.

Rima had been crying.

* * *

I almost screamed when I saw the dress.

The long, golden fabric had a deep-far too deep for my liking- U-neck and cascaded down in ripples of cloth that barely even looked like I could wear it.

"What? This is a celebrity party. You have to dress up." Utau, done up in a short flared purple dress with a black belt, practically tossed me the hanger and shoved me inside my room.

"Get dressed. Makeup comes later."

I groaned and began to decide which side of the dress was the front.

Two hours later, I was sitting in Utau's room and trying to avoid a mirror, which wouldn't display my (invisible) reflection. Said pop star had completely swept me along in her pace and here I was, blush and eye shadow and fancy dress. Yaya had squealed about how "ah-may-zing!" I looked, but I was too busy wondering about how exactly I was supposed to get out of this party.

I hadn't faced this many people since my old Guardian days, and even then my parents had taken me under their wing. I was a kid then, eleven or twelve at most. But now, I was expected to somehow navigate my way through hours on end with a hall full of people.

Oh, and did I mention that I WAS INVISIBLE?!

Balancing on the three-inch heels Utau lent me, I wobbled down the hallway and into the living room to wait for Utau and Yaya with all the guys (Rima had yet to show).

They were all in suits. Frankly, that was one of the only things that made Nagihiko look like a guy, apart from the fact he wasn't wearing makeup and heels. (It made me giggle evilly simply to think of him wearing that.)

Tadase-kun was sitting straight-backed and formal, the only respectable sight in the room. Next to him was Kukai, laughing uncontrollably at something Kairi had just said. Kairi, for that matter, was rattling off something from a book that was so thick my back would have broken lifting the thing. Ikuto was lounging on one of the couches and staring into space.

All of them, save Ikuto, silenced and assumed more formal positions when I entered, though they relaxed as soon as I came closer.

"Oh, it's you." Kukai sighed in relief.

"We thought it was..." Nagihiko shuddered.

"...My demonic little sister." Ikuto finished, smirking.

"Celebrities are not necessarily well-known for their controlling attitude, however in several instances it has been proved that-"

"Can it with the lecturing, Chairman!" Yaya burst inside, wearing a pink frilly dress with an excess of bows. "Candy's more important! And there'll be CANDY at the party!"

"Actually, there will be cake too." Tadase-kun added thoughtfully.

Yaya's eyes began to sparkle. She then started screaming happily at the top of her lungs until Kairi threatened to slap her with the fat book. Kukai, chortling, added another comment about brownies. The cycle started over again, except with Utau arriving to torture Yaya with detailed descriptions of various succulent sweets.

Thus, the car ride passed. How pleasant.

Once we had reached the hall, with Yaya in severe danger of losing her voice from too much screaming, I tried to slip away unnoticed. I picked my way through the snow, shivering even in my fancy white coat.

"Amu! The door is this way!" Utau steered me over, ignoring my feeble protests.

The place was pretty much empty. Thank goodness Utau was the host, and I had approximately fifteen minutes to escape. I began to scheme.

Luck was against me that night, though. A girl from the music store where Ikuto worked called Kotone showed up early, and before long the place was filled with everybody from schoolgirls to the lead singer of DARTS! .

Utau led me over to a young woman, in her twenties most likely, with wavy purple hair and a matching dress.

"Honda-san, this is Amu, our guest."

I gulped.

"Huh? Where is this Amu?"

I bolted. Winding my way through people, and bumping into quite a few too, I made a break for the back door. I swore I saw Yaya cast me a suspicious glance as I burst outside, but I paid her no heed.

I was met with a harsh wind as I stumbled outside. The temperature must have been well below freezing. I hugged my coat tighter around myself and scurried away. To where, I had no idea.

My hands and feet began to get numb, and before long I couldn't feel my high heels anymore. I kept in clear sight of the hall, eyeing the doors for Yaya chasing after me.

I sighed, watching my breath billow out in front me. The foggy mist somehow reminded me of myself, somebody yet still nobody.

I stopped in front of a pool, clear as glass. It reflected the moon and the stars, but when I knelt down in front of it I saw nothing.

Nothing. Me.

I had wanted to talk to Honda-san, Kotone, maybe even introduce myself to DARTS! . But the curse, Nadeshiko's punishment, prevented me from living the life I wanted to.

They told me to grab hold of your future, to take your life into your own hands. I no longer had that choice.

She had been twelve when it happened, Nadeshiko I mean. At such a young age she acted acted like that It was like she didn't have a heart. She tried to do the impossible, take magic that wasn't hers. We had both gotten punished, partners in crime yet divided in friendship.

I sighed and leaned closer to the pond, knees buckling and finally giving way. I was pitched into depths of cold, black water. I choked, swiftly sinking under, fighting desperately but failing. The dress was dragging me down. My breath was strangled from me. I could literally feel my pulse slowing.

There was a splash beside me, and suddenly I could breathe again.

My vision faded to black.

_So cold._

* * *

"Amu? Amu!"

I blinked. The fuzzy outline of Ikuto's face shifted into view, and I heaved myself to a sitting position.

"Th-th-thanks. W-were y-you the o-one that s-saved me?" I stammered, teeth chattering.

Ikuto frowned. "No, I just found you here, soaking wet. Whoever it was must have left."

"But...why would they leave?"

Ikuto shrugged. "Beats me. All I know is that Utau would have gone berserk if you had died."

"Why?"

"Duh. It'd be all over the news. 'Celebrity fails to keep friend safe...again."

My breath caught in my throat. "Again?"

Ikuto's gaze was suddenly trained on the ground. " I can't answer that."

"I know what you mean." I attempted a smile, but it ended up more like a teeth-rattling grimace.

"Yeah. I can see it. You're not as happy as you seem, right? You're good at keeping secrets." Ikuto pulled his case out of seemingly nowhere, though it was quite large. "Amu...this is the case you saw me with the other day. On the hill."

"You knew?" I gasped.

"I found out. But why didn't you ask me?"

"I was afraid. Wouldn't anyone be?"

Ikuto stood up and offered me a hand. "Amu, I'm telling you something I seldom say. In fact, I barely even talk at all. But listen now, 'cause this is important. Fear never got anyone anywhere. But boldness is a push that sends people flying higher."

I rose and faced him squarely. "You know where being bold has gotten me?"

Ikuto stepped back.

"Alone. On the streets. Crying."

"You're about to cry again." Ikuto stated bluntly.

"The tears never end, do they?"

Ikuto started walking. "Oh, they end. The hole in your heart never heals, but the tears end."

He turned and spoke casually, as if he had never said anything. "Maybe Utau can find you a change of clothes."

"What about you? Why aren't you at the party?"

"I was never one for parties. Talk to Utau or Yaya, you guys are practically best friends anyways."

"What makes you say that?" I snapped, voice hardening.

"Rima spilled. To her teddy bear, but nonetheless, she spilled."

* * *

"They're back!"

Here they were, the morning after the party. After a long absence they were here again, swarming the park.

Demons. They fought with a renewed vengeance, trying to obliterate us so they could get on with obliterating the world.

I drew intricate patterns with my sword, creating elaborate nets to trap my opponent, a female demon with long blue hair. She defended with pure magic, blue fire that I knew would paralyze rather than burn.

Beside me, I glimpsed Utau, who wielded a trident with such agility that it seemed like a part of her. On my other side, Rima had neatly trapped a demon in her trap created out of a her ropes.

She sent me a smug glare, as if to say, "I am the best here."

I had no time for that. If Rima had jealously problems, she could sort them out herself.

I could have knocked out, even killed the demon with my magic, but I was limited as a bird in a cage without full powers. Pursing my lips, I twisted the hilt and let it dance atop my fingers. A slice of magic shot from the blade with every move, and within seconds I had the demon struggling to stay alive.

I could spot Rima out of the corner of her eye, jaw nearly dropped. Somehow, it gave me pleasure to see her watch in awe as I leaped into the air, doing a flip and shooting at the demon with full power.

I struck her to the ground in one blow. I raised my sword, preparing to kill the demon. I had done it so many times. It was nothing to do it once more.

After all, she was created to destroy dreams, to destroy humanity. I was fighting in league with the Guardians, Guardians all over the world, perhaps, working together to keep this world safe. In contrast to last night, now I felt unstoppable, invincible to whatever life might throw at me.

I brought down the sword. The demon , however, launched herself upwards and flipped, slamming her hand into my back. A tingle shot through me.

"It's her." the demon spoke, voice smooth and sinister. "Amu Hinamori." She had pinned me to the ground. I could feel my heart thumping against the earth. The tables had turned.

The demons all stopped, abandoning their opponents, and circled me.

Me. What did they want me, a pitiful ex-Guardian, for?

"Blaze Shoot!"

"Go Go Little Duckies!"

"Hoy Crown!"

"Nightmare Lorelei!"

"Lightning Blade!"

"Golden Victory Shoot!"

"Slash Claw!"

An explosion of light, demons fleeing, everybody crowding around me, all wondering…

What did they want with me?

* * *

_She huddled in a corner, rocking back and forth, sobbing. But she wasn't crying for herself, though she lay alone in a prison cell. She cried for a dear friend, one that she had wronged._

_The mistakes she had made had resulted in her best friend getting crushed by so much sadness, so much sadness that the tears hadn't stopped chasing her even now._

_"Human." The guards' now-familiar faces shifted into view._

_"It has been three years, but our Majesty has made a decision." one guard yanked the girl to her feet, ignoring her slight whimper of pain._

_The second guard pulled out a slip of paper and read from it, in a condescending voice ,_

_"The verdict is as follows: Nadeshiko Fujisaki, a human charged of infiltrating the Guardian world, and Amu Hinamori, a Guardian charged of being her accomplice, will be imprisoned and killed."_

_The prisoner's quiet whimpers broke into full-blown wailing._

_"No!", she whispered, "not Amu-chan!"_

_"Preparations are already underway to track Amu Hinamori down." the guard with the paper added as he left._

_"No!" she cried. "Why? Save her!"_

_But they ignored her pleas, leaving her to whisper and sob, as if deranged, to herself._

_Prisoner cried for victim, captured cried for free, wrongdoer cried for past friend._

_Nadeshiko cried for Amu._

* * *

**So...yeah.**

**See you soon-hopefully.**

**ReachForTheSky is out.**


	7. Demons and Me

**This is a very early Christmas chapter. And no, Amu does not get Ikuto a violin. Seriously, violins are pretty darn expensive. And in this story, Ikuto doesn't have the same relationship with his violin as in the manga/anime.**

* * *

"Oh, hello there, wall, how are you?" I mumbled, letting my eyes close briefly before resuming my stare at the usually comforting golden brown walls of the guest room.

"Silent treatment? You're not the first one." Ever since the demons had cornered me yesterday, Utau and the rest had been eyeing me warily and whispering behind my back.

The door creaked slightly. I turned, sitting up as it opened.

Nagihiko stepped inside, almost hesitant to speak. "Amu-chan? Lunch is ready-all of us here. And if you want, we can talk, about, you know, yesterday? The demons?"

I lowered my gaze to the wooden floor. "I'm good. And Nagihiko...would you mind telling Utau that I'm leaving?" The words flew out of my outh. Sure, I was gonna leave, but I hadn't planned on telling them.

I could hear his gasp, though I dared not look him in the eye. "Amu-chan…? Why? I mean, school starts in three days, and you could go with us, and we could-"

"No can do." I whispered. "I'm sorry."

Nagihiko sat down on the bed next to me. "Is this about the demons? None of us are mad at you. We just want to know why."

My back tingled faintly, reminding me of the strange mark that the demons had placed. Yesterday, when I had fought the blue-haired one, she had slammed into me and imprinted me. I was sure a real Guardian could have been able to identify it. But I had given up studying magic when I had been banished.

"Nagihiko, I just can't do it. I'm better off alone."

_"Amu-chan."_

My eyes widened. No, not Nadeshiko, not the hallucinations again. I thought they had disappeared when I had begun living with Utau, but they were back.

_"Stay. You know you want to. The demons are coming for you, Amu-chan, the Guardians recruited them. I know they're enemies, but the demons are being paid by the Guardians to capture you."_

This couldn't be happening.

_"You're one of the most wanted criminals, Amu-chan. Bested only by me."_ Nadeshiko's voice broke.

"Amu-chan?" Nagihiko shook me gently. "Are you okay?"

I jolted back into reality, staring at Nagihiko. Finally reacting, I shoved him off the bed. He stumbled into the hallway and I locked the door before collapsing on my own bed. It was really the only way to deal with the hallucinations.

_"I'm real, I keep telling you. It's some sort of magic, I'm in a prison cell but I can hear your thoughts. I know you think I'm dead, you want me dead. But Amu-chan, I have to warn you!"_

"Never." I muttered. "I swore I would start anew. She's dead."

_"Amu-chan!"_

I covered my ears childishly, but Nadeshiko wouldn't stop. Hours later, I fell asleep, tormented by dreams of capture, of prison, and of Nadeshiko.

* * *

The first thought that struck my mind the next morning was that it was Christmas. A smile twitched at the corners of my mouth as I realized I was supposed to be alone, on the streets.

I really was too pessimistic sometimes. I'd have to leave Monday, come school, but I could always enjoy Christmas.

Then I remembered Nadeshiko and the demons. My mood plummeted. Turning over in bed, I reflected that I really was too fickle with my emotions.

"Come on, Amu-chi! We left you alone yesterday, 'cause utau said you might wanna be alone, but friends have to spend Christmas morning together!" Yaya literally dragged me out of bed.

"Yaya, I don't…"

"Come ON, Amu-chi!" Yaya faced me with a pout. "Pwease?"

I groaned. "Fine."

Yaya dragged me down the stairs, not even bothering to let me change. Everybody, who had apparently slept over, was crowded around the huge tree in the center of the room. A pile of gifts was set around it. A blush crept up my face as I realized that I had no gifts to give.

Nagihiko smiled at me, obviously relieved that I was okay after my outburst previously. Beside him, Rima shot me a cold glare and subsequently shot Nagihiko an equally cold one, most likely for smiling at me.

Kukai waved me over, and I sat down awkwardly amongst the others.

"I-I don't have any gifts, so I really shouldn't…" I trailed off, gulping at the pile of gifts in front of me.

"Are you serious? None of us expected you to have a gift. We didn't give you money." Utau harrumphed, smile just barely visible.

"Ah, I'm embarrassed, all the same…" I sighed.

Nagihiko winked. "Nothing's embarrassing until you think it is." it was a totally pointless comment, but it instantly made me feel better.

"Hey, get to the gifts already." Ikuto drawled. "Here. First one's for Kairi, from Yaya." he tossed Kari a bright pink present covered in bows.

"Yaya didn't sign that present! How did you know, Ikuto-tan?"

"It's covered in pink and ribbons. And please don't call me -tan. I'm years older than you."

Kairi began to open the gift meticulously, careful not to rip even an inch of the messily done wrapping.

Tick tock.

"Oh, just open the gift already!" Yaya shrieked, tearing open the wrapping and thrusting it at Kairi.

Kukai peered over at the gift, then began to chuckle. Utau also glanced at it and nearly snorted in amusement. Before long everybody except Rima (because she was still mad at the world) and I (because I had no idea what the gift was) had burst out laughing.

"What is it?" I asked eagerly.

Between gasps of laughter, Kukai stammered, "A...Complete...Encyclopedia...of...Sweets...and

...ah...CANDY!"

Now I was laughing too.

Kairi, who was staring at the book, exclaimed in a low voice, "Every single sweet ever created? Six hundred and seventy-two pages?"

Yaya's big brown eyes widened. "Oh, Kairi, is it really bad or something?"

"It's the most complete encyclopedia I've ever seen! Thank you!" Kairi left us all stunned and buried himself in the book.

Kukai broke the silence. "Utau, here." The gift was thin and square, wrapped in colorful sports paper.

"I-thanks." Utau said, smiling a rare, true smile as she held a beat-up album.

"It's of my songs when I was just a kid." she added to me.

The morning passed swiftly. Nagihiko got a dancing video, and Rima a manga volume which she promptly hid. Yaya, candy, Kukai, soccer ball, Tadase-kun a crown...? I watched intently but silently, not expecting a gift for myself. So when Tadase handed me a little silver box, I was quite astounded.

"It's nothing much, from all of us. Think of it as a welcome gift." I opened the box with shaking hands, gently pulling out a silver lock on a gold chai. in the shape of a four-leaf clover.

"I...thanks so much." I slipped the lock onto my neck, feeling more guilty than ever. They got me such a wonderful gift, and here was, going to leave come Monday.

The morning continued. Gifts were exchanged along with laughter, but I couldn't help but notice that Ikuto's hands were still empty. This wasn't a weird cliche where Ikuto would sulk and stay lonely, though. Of course Utau and the rest had put something together.

"Hey, Ikuto." Utau handed him a rectangular present. "Open it."

Warily, Ikuto tore open the gift wrapping. He paled as soon as he saw it, though, and within seconds his hands were shaking.

"What the heck, Utau. Why would you people give me something like this."

"I-I thought you'd like it, Ikuto!"

Ikuto motioned her over, and pointed out something in the gift, which was a picture of something. Utau's hands went to her mouth, as if to stop herself from screaming.

"Ikuto." she whispered, but he had already stood, slowly, as if he was afraid. He backed away at a snail's speed, then his eyes fell on the picture in his hand and he slipped up the stairs, leaving us all dumbstruck.

Nagihiko was the one to break the silence. "We're idiots. That picture would have definitely upset him."

"Wh-why?" I gasped.

"He...well, that was the year his father disappeared, his mother began to distance herself, and-well, he was crushed. We all were, but, well, you know that case Ikuto carries around?"

Oh, I knew it all too well.

"It's a violin case. He used to play, till his father left. And now he can't even open the thing."

"He was so good at it…" Yaya sighed.

"But what about you guys? Why aren't you so upset?" I stammered.

Kairi faced me head on, glasses hiding his eyes. "He was our big brother then. But we never stopped to comfort him, and since then he has grown alone, apart from us."

Utau stood up, still a bit shaky. "Amu, go after him. Wherever he went. You're the only one who wasn't involved in the gift, so he can't be mad at you."

"But-Ikuto doesn't seem like an angry person. Maybe we should just let him cool off."

"Possibly." Utau shrugged. "You're a perceptive person, so I'm not surprised Ikuto actually talks to you. He won't talk to strangers-or anyone, for that matter."

"We're not strangers, though, right?"

"No…" Utau grinned, "We're friends."

But even as we continued in awkward silence, I could feel Rima's glare practically boring holes in the back of my head.

Friends?

* * *

Ikuto listened to them talk below, though he couldn't catch their exact words. He could hear Utau, voice trembling, and Amu, reassuring.

He had ruined everyone's Christmas. But he could get away with it. Not without feeling guilty, or course, but that was another problem.

Ikuto was good at hiding his feelings. He knew that tomorrow, he'd be able to (fake) shake it off and act like nothing had ever happened.

But like he had told Amu, the hole in your heart never heals.

"Ugh." I twisted around, trying to itch the weird tingle in my back where the demons had imprinted that signal, imprint, whatever.

I groaned and sat up, watching the moon through the lacy golden curtains. The light was so pretty. This world, Earth, was full of horrors, but the silver moon was a sight to behold. It was quite unlike the blue Guardian moon that bathed my home in sapphire light. Maybe it was even better.

I scrambled back as a shadow materialized in front of the window, followed by another, and another. My pulse quickened as I realized that whatever those shadows were after had to be me.

My sword was lying on the nightstand. I snatched it and gripped the handle tightly, waiting for an attack. I waited as the shadows flooded the room, swiping occasionally but never hitting my unknown enemies.

Mustering my courage, I managed to bellow, "WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!"

The shadows solidified.

Demons.

"The Guardians want you, Amu Hinamori." one hissed, motioning the others forward. "And we decided we needed a little cash." he nodded to the demon beside him. Her red eyes gleamed with pleasure and she snapped her fingers.

Utau, Nagihiko, no one was coming.

A net fell down upon me, trapping me in suffocating black threads. A thousand slices from a sword could not break it, nor could a violent explosion of magic caused by my sheer fear.

"What is it?!" Rima barked as she thrust the door open. She paled slightly as she saw me, entangled.

"Did you bring your ropes? Or something?" I hollered above the elated din of the demons.

"No!" her voice had become high-pitched in fear. "Amu, I should have come earlier, but I was mad, and I-"

"Rima!" I screamed. "They're taking me!"

She lashed out with all her might, but without her ropes she was powerless. A couple demons were enough to end her skidding backwards.

The demon in charge nodded, and I could feel myself slipping away from Earth. I clawed at the floor, magic everywhere, screaming.

The last thing I saw was Rima's horrified face.

* * *

**Aah I feel like a jerk for ending all the chapters like this. My chapters are becoming too predictable. Hey, at least Amu didn't cry in this one.**

**ReachForTheSky is out.**


End file.
